Correspondence
by xenokattz
Summary: Lois exchanges letters with Superboy in the midst of the Infinity Crisis


As a general rule, Lois hated snail-mail. Anything that had to be printed on paper was bound to be bad news. She should know; she worked at a newspaper. 

"Bills, bills, millionaire lottery that I'll never win, bills and... Conner?" Lois dropped the rest of the stack. Kon's letter addressed her all right, with his human name at the top left-hand corner in the same childish scrawl. Due to geography, time constraints and the continued threat of Armageddon, Lois hadn't really talked with Kon much which was really a shame. The kid was a real character. Even now that he'd moved to Kansas-- mid-continent instead of transcoastal-- security prevented her from visiting.

"You must be bored stupid to write to me," Lois said through a chuckle. She ripped the envelope open and pulled a single sheet of paper out.

_Dear Cousin(in-law?) Lois,_

_I'm writing you this letter because Asscrack, Kansas hasn't heard of the Internet yet and also, for Journalism class, I'm supposed to interview someone in the career that I'd like to have when I grow up. I'm pretty sure this should've been covered in kindergarten or something. I'm not sure I want to be a reporter but I can't exactly put "superhero" on the blank, right? Anyway, if you're not too busy, I'd really appreciate it if you write back._

_Sincerely,  
Conner Kent_

_P.S. How did Clark not go insane here? I've actually stooped to talking to the cows during milking. Sadly, they were better conversationalists than my classmates_.

Lois's chuckle turned into a guffaw. That letter deserved an immediate answer.

* * *

Dear Conner,

Thank you for keeping me in mind for your assignment. I would be honoured to participate in your project. Please forward me your questions and I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

Until next time,  
Lois Lane.

P.S. If John and Martha raised those cows from calves, I wouldn't be too surprised at their intelligence. Look how their kid turned out. Maybe you should interview the cows.

--- --- ---

Dear Lois,

Thank you very much for participating in my project. The following are my initial questions:

1) How is working at The Daily Planet different from studying journalism in college? How did your college experience prepare you for your current career?

2) Your breakthrough article, "((name))," is very different from your current pieces in terms of writing style and subject. What prompted these changes and why?

3) Is it true that Clark can't work a stapler to save his life and, if so, how many valiant staplers have lost their lives in the course of your partnership?

4) Which event at any point in history would you have liked to cover and why?

Thank you again for your participation.

Connor Kent  
The Cow Whisperer

P.S. I asked Uncle John and he said, yes, they did raise the cows from calves. Sadly, they're as interview shy as Superman so there won't be a breaking story on effectiveness of teat lotions or clover versus alfalfa as feed.

P.P.S. Aunt Martha made these shortbread cookies for you when she found out that I was interviewing you. They're supposed to taste better after a few days but they're pretty fantastic now so I guess they'll be indescribable by the time you get them. Try the ones with the dried blueberries.

--- --- ---

Dear Conner,

1) About the only preparation college gave me was how to drink it up with the big boys. Sometimes, all it takes to get the story is to prove that you're more macho than they are.

Honestly though, if you don't know how to write already, school is better at teaching you what not to do, how not to mess your story up, how not to get overlooked like ninety percent of your peers who have to compete with for a handful of slots that more senior writers have anyway. Voice, instinct and sources are all things that you continue to learn as you go

2) Nowhere is my point more obvious than in my "breakthrough" article. That's a classic example of the hungry amateur. It's not to say it was my first article or my worst but I have very specific goals when I set out to write it, mainly to build a reputation. Sometimes as a reporter, your reputation is all you have. Whether I've done myself a favour or not is up to the reader. I like to believe that "article" opened doors; I'm not comfortable with simply being defined.

3) God yes. Accounting set aside a stapler fund in the Planet's budget four years ago.

4) The answer to that question depends on the type of journalism that you have in mind. If the restrictions in a particular era stand, then I wouldn't be interested at all because it would just be blatant propaganda as opposed to the current attempts at objectivity. The tired saying is that history is written by the winners. If I had the chance I'd love to report about the "losing" side in order to round history out.

Hope that helped.  
Lois Lane

P.S. The cookies were excellent. I preferred the cranberry ones although blueberries were also good. BTW, the fact that you know there's a difference between feeds is scary in and of itself. Better look out before they completely rub the beach bum off you.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

_To:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com

_Subject:_ Some semblance of civilization

Hi Lois,

Aunt Martha's letting me use her computer! She said I should stop killing so many trees with my poor handwriting and totally had my back when we talked to my journalism teacher. She said that our assignment as it's currently implemented didn't accurately reflect professional journalism and that he was doing us a disfavour by making us do everything the long way. Which is basically what I said except she brought a sweet potato pie. I wish I could cook.

There's no way the beach bum would ever rub off. I'm pretty sure it's genetic, somehow, some way. Speaking of genetics, did you know Clark visited? He showed me how to milk a cow. It's kind of gross how milking is pulling on cow boobs. It's like cow harassment.

Anyway, back to the questions.

5) You said in no.2 that "article" was about building a reputation. In what ways has it helped or hindered your career?

Sincerely,  
Conner Kent  
Has Cows in Every Area Code

* * *

Clark swooped down and locked onto Lois's neck, delivering a perfectly targeted kiss. Humming, pleased, Lois reached up to loop her arms around his neck. 

"Who's that from?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at her laptop.

"The email? Conner."

"Conner? My... cousin?"

"Yup."

"Is everything okay in Smallville?" He didn't pull away from the embrace but Lois could tell he was already planning rescues for a dozen different scenarios.

"He's fine," she said. "He's just interviewing me for Journalism class."

"Oh."

She hid her grin. "He probably didn't interview you because it'd be too easy."

"I wasn't wondering."

"Yes, you were."

"... All right, I was but only for a second."

Lois didn't tell him about the cow harassment comment.

* * *

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com 

_To_:2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

_Subject:_ Re: Some semblance of civilization

Hey Conner,

Welcome back to the 21st century! You were greatly missed. If only sweet potato pie could change the minds of politicians, Martha Kent could take over the world. You should broach the subject to her; maybe one day, cows everywhere will no longer be subjected to that type of humiliation.

God, I sound like one of those PETA nut jobs.

To answer your question, of course there are cons to being known as "that Superman reporter" mainly that people think all I write is Superman with an occasional Justice League shot thrown in for spice. It can grate at the nerves at times but I'm not going to whine about being able to write for a living. However, being known has helped more than anything-- people either give info up right away or underestimate me, thereby making research a heckuva lot easier. It's all in how you play the con, grasshopper.

Give Ma and Pa my love,  
Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Some semblance of civilization

I told Aunt Martha about your plan and she kind of cackled.

I think I'm scared.

Conner.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com

_Subject:_ And also…

Another question: When you do your research, do you go undercover?

C

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: And also…

The mental image of Martha cackling sent shivers down my spine.

Research is really exactly what it sounds. Sorry, kiddo. If you want to go into journalism, that library class is actually really important as well as being unnaturally intimate with your rolodex and search engines more robust than Google. Convincingly faking a couple accents is also useful. The occasional-- very, very, VERY occasional-- times that I do go undercover, it's been with a team. I never put myself in dangerous situations.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: And also…

That's not what Clark told me

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ My traitorous husband

Clark is a little, old, purple-haired lady who'd be better off writing the gardening section.

--- --- ---

_From:_ clark.kent (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Of course, by "traitorous" you mean "cute"

Stop corrupting my impressionable young cousin or, so God help me, I will call you all manners of saccharine pet-names like "pooky-bear" and "honey-sweetums" in public.

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: clark.ket (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Of course, by "traitorous" you mean "cute"

You are a sick, sad man and that's why I married you.

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ You are so going to get it

You told Clark about my "grandma" comment. You'd better have finished that article 'cause if you have any more questions, I'm going to sabotage them.

BTW, Clark says that cows' teats aren't erogenous zones anyway so milking wouldn't be harassment. I told him about the case up in Seattle a couple years ago with the guy and the horse farm; he turned purple. He should really google things more often; he relies too much on his sources.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: You are so going to get it

Clark didn't know about the guy with the horse? I thought EVERYONE knew about the guy with the horse. Uncle John knew about the guy with the horse. I got a LOT to teach him.

The article's almost done. My teacher wants it by the end of the week and I'm so fricking glad it's off my hands. No offence to you or Clark, but this whole writing thing isn't my thing. I mean I write and then it's cool but then it's too long then I have to edit it then things are missing, blah blah blah. At least with math or chem, you just write the answer and that's the answer no matter how you get to it.

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: You are so going to get it

A Kent who prefers numbers to words. It's a sad, sad day in Smallville, Junior. Makes a girl wonder about weaknesses in your genetic stock.

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Awaiting the next Pulitzer winner

So? How did the article do?

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Still awaiting the next Pulitzer winner

Come on, Junior, it couldn't have been that bad.

--- --- ---

_From:_ lois.lane (at) dailyplanet (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ The Pulitzers have bad buffets anyway

Really, in the course of things, ONE high school article won't wreck your academic career. Do you need help in your next assignment?

* * *

Lois stole Clark's pyjama top (again) and he told her to get her own nightwear (again), setting off the routine confessional time in the middle of the night, taking advantage of the few hours Clark allotted for himself to just be Clark.

"Maybe Conner should go to school here," said Lois. She drew arabesques on his chest, never quite making the sigil as she wound her way from his collarbone to parts slightly south.

"What do you mean?" Clark asked.

"I just don't think he's adjusting well to farm life."

"It's only temporary. Besides, it'll do him good to work at the farm."

"Clark, you told me that when we first went on vacation there and the only thing that did me good were your parents and two boxes of extra-strength Reactine." She propped herself up on her elbows, knowing that her weight wouldn't hurt him. "Why is he there anyway?"

Clark told her a little bit of it. It was all Lois could do not to give herself a concussion.

* * *

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Open mouth, insert foot

Clark told me you were having some issues with your origins. He didn't go into details, of course, but I'm really sorry if what I said a few weeks ago hit a sore spot. I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease; I really don't know how to filter thoughts in my head and remembering that sane people don't actually blab everything that comes to their head. That's probably part of the reason why I'm in a profession which has copy editors as an integral part of the system.

I remember when I first met you. Here was this kid in a leather jacket and a fade haircut flirting with anything in a mini and wanting nothing from me except more headlines. I didn't believe you were who you said you were because... well, that would've been illegal not to mention I thought I just buried my fiancé a month ago so I was in all sorts of shock. I don't know if I told you this but in all the confusion at that time, if I had to choose one guy that I thought was the Real Deal, it would've been you.

I'm not just saying that. I never JUST say anything to make people feel better.

Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Feet taste better with peanut butter

It's cool. The article got a B+ because I apparently need "a distinctive voice" for an editorial. Whatever. It's a pass. I made artificial banana scent in chem and got an A. Weird but it tasted like the juice boxes that Bart always has around the Tower.

Conner

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Feet taste better with peanut butter

Okay, kiddo, I don't care who your dad is; you stay away from ANYTHING that Bart eats. With the amount of processed sugars he has in his system it's no wonder he runs as fast as he does.

Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Kill me please

He says he needs the sugar because of his high metabolism. - I don't believe it either.

Exciting news in Smallville. There's going to be a corn-husking contest right before the big grudge match against Wichita East. The prize is a month's worth of tickets to the theatre where you can watch movies that went to DVD three months ago. Woohooo, par-tay.

headdesk, rinse, repeat.

Conner

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ What doesn't kill you, blahblahcakes

It's weird to think that Clark's Clark after all of that, huh? I think that's part of the reason why I get the way I do when he's off doing the side-job. When I had his day-job and the side-job in separate boxes mentally, I didn't worry about the side-job. Why would I? When he was in his day-job, he was a puppy that I had to protect so the reaction was wildly different. Then I learned about the connection. In mashing those two personalities together, I learned about the real Clark and the idea of this honestly normal guy doing what he did freaked me out.

In conclusion, try corn-husking. It builds character.

Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ thnxsnobai

Every time Uncle John says something will "build my character," I end up smelling like the wrong end of a zombie. With sayings like that, why hasn't Clark asked you to have a dozen babies, each born with a recorder in hand?

Conner

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Is there a right end of a zombie?

Can you really imagine us as parents? Rather, can you imagine ME as a mom? The poor kid will probably be dragged into the bullpen and all over the city when I get a story. Or worse, it'll be tossed off to babysitters and neighbours. Maybe when our lives aren't too crazy, we'll start talking about it. Clark would love another kid though.

Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Is there a right end of a zombie?

Clark has a kid floating around somewhere? I thought he was a boy scout.

Conner

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

_Subject:_ Re: Is there a right end of a zombie?

I meant you, dolt.

* * *

Lois found herself looking forward to Kon's emails to the point where Clark teased her about her internet boyfriend. Lois immediately retorted that she was marching inexorably towards forty and was always ahead of the game anyway so if she wanted to have a fling with a sweet young thing, then it was her right. 

More often than not, she emailed him at night when Clark was out saving the world. Once, when the moon was full, she thought she saw him and Clark zip past in their costumes, their laughter trickling down to Earth. She smiled then, just a little curve on the left corner of her lips, as she imagined a conversation between them, one boisterous and given to hyperboles, the other earnest yet somewhat wry.

She TiVoed news about the Titans and the JL, looking for past clips of them together and found herself wondering for the first time what kind of father Clark would be. She shied from thoughts of motherhood though; that way lay danger.

* * *

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Replacing the jacket

Aunt Martha offered to sew a costume for me again. She even showed me some designs but it was too weird with the clone thing and the costume looking too much like Clark's. When I went to the future, I wore Clark's costume and called Luthor "Pa." I know it's dumb but I keep thinking if I don't get a costume, then it won't come true.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Warning! Serious mode.

With all the stuff going on now, you should be getting the idea that the future is flexible. Time isn't linear; it's like a lotus blossom with continual diversification of realities. I personally don't believe in destiny so if I ever saw a reality where I'm married to Luthor, you can damn well bet I'd be on the lookout to keep it from happening just like you are. However, you have to ask yourself how much you're living life versus how much you're avoiding it. If you ditch the costume because you don't think the hero gig is for you, then, fair enough; it could be time to look for a career change. But if you think of it as a bad omen or a trigger despite your desire to keep heroing, then please let me be the first to smack you upside the head.

For all your bad nutritional habits and continual insistence on peppering your body with hoops and studs, you're a good person. I know you'll always act according to your conscience. Besides, in no reality would Luthor let himself be called "Pa" no matter how bad the kryptonite radiation gets.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Warning! Serious mode.

You know why I like talking to you about stuff? Cuz the way you say things makes me think you really mean it.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Warning! Serious mode.

I never say anything I don't mean, remember?

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ There are total advantages to a younger man

Marry me?

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: There are total advantages to a younger man

You're ten years too late, Junior. Besides the grapevine says you're having it on with a little red bird.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: There are total advantages to a younger man

Your grapevine is rotten! I'm suing for libel or slander or something. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay but I have a wonderful girlfriend. At least I used to have one.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: There are total advantages to a younger man

IMNSHO, wonderful girls and women are highly overrated. I think the gold-plated corsets cut off oxygen to their brains.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: There are total advantages to a younger man

FYI I broke up with her. It seemed like the thing to do after I went Luthor and strangled her.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Serious Mode, Part II

Clark gave me the details. Don't be too angry with him; I threatened to make coq au vin from scratch and be vulnerable if he refused to eat it. Next time Clark comes over, ask him about the things he does when he's been exposed to weird varieties of K or influenced by magic.

You were manipulated, Conner. This wasn't something you wanted to do; it was something you were FORCED to do. You were attacked as much as your friends, maybe worse because Luthor hurt your spirit. If Cassie or anyone else blames you for that, then to hell with them. And if you're blaming yourself, then I'm force-feeding you my whole repertoire of pretentious French cooking.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ I know where he lives

Clark told me what Bruce said about you. I'm sending him a Tupperware of coq au vin made from scratch, the psychopathic hypocrite.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Where the hell are you?

Conner, you better be too busy husking corn to answer my emails because if you're wallowing in guilt, so God help me, I'm going to GK your ass.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Where the hell are you?

Sorry I was AWOL. Cassie visited. We talked a lot. I think everything's actually going to be fine. Not perfect but y'know fine.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Where should I send the champagne?

Junior, you got laid, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Technically, I'm underage

A gentleman never tells.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Technically, I'm underage

snorts

Seriously though, Conner, if you have any questions, you can ask me. It'll be completely off the record and under the same locked black box as JL business. Having dated the business for too frickin' long then married it (oy, vey!), I probably have advice for any scenario you can come up with.

That said, I hope it was magic and that you used protection.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Technically, I'm underage

You totally sound like a mom.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Technically, I'm underage

Sticks and stones may break my bones, et cetera, et cetera. What are you doing emailing me? Go back to bed and rest. Or kiss your girlfriend good morning.

--- --- ---

_From:_ 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Locked black box material

I'm fine and resting and getting fat on Aunt Martha's cooking. I even asked her to make coq au vin. You didn't tell me it was just a drunk chicken. I was ready to get grossed out.

I wanted to write you because I have this weird feeling that things are going to go down in a bad way. Like real bad. I'm going to sound totally egotistical but my gang's powered down without me. People are getting hurt and worse because there's not enough of us to do any good. I have to go help them. I guess your whole thing about my conscience is true. OO

If anything happens to me, I want you to make sure that Cassie and Tim are okay. Write to them or something I guess. Talking to you helped me out a lot when crap was hitting the fan.

I'm sure nothing's going to happen. I'm probably feeling my mortality or some other crap like that because of what happened. When we've kicked this guy's ass, I'm going to celebrate by having my ear piercing enlarged with those big bone lugs. You can come with me and get a navel ring. -

Love,

Conner

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Re: Locked black box material

Conner, you ass, what are you going to do? You're still supposed to be convalescing. Don't do anything that'll get you even more hurt.

* * *

Reporting on meta activity fell right under Lois' belt but the Superboy-Prime business made her think about a nice, relaxing stint in International. There should be a by-law against having to report on your family. Justice League, Outsiders and Titans injuries, mistakes and casualties materialized one pixellised letter at a time. The cursor blinked in time with her pulse. 

She was on her second pot of coffee. Clark hadn't checked in for two days. Conner hadn't written in four. The JL secure line refused to take any more of her calls. Her piece began with the words "Hundreds of patients at Metropolis General are in critical condition..."

When Clark finally flew in, the expression on his face was... Lois had never seen him so broken. Then he told her what happened in the North Pole and something in her broke as well.

_Oh, Kon. Oh, god-fucking-dammit, Kon._

* * *

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ (none) 

It's been two months since your last email and three weeks since they put up the memorial. It looks nothing like you. ;)

I'm not sure why I'm writing. I guess I miss our "talks." As much as you said I helped you out when the crap hit the fan, you helped me out, too. It couldn't have been easy or entertaining to read an old woman whine but you did a bang-up job as my personal Dear Abby. There was no one else I could talk to about things like that.

Lois

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Updates

Clark told me he visited your room today. Funny, I wanted to do the same. I've never seen that room after it was un-Clarked. I feel like I should've gone in there first to make sure there's no incriminating evidence from Cassie.

I have been looking in on her. She's dealing with it in the good old JL fashion which means there are an awful lot of hospitalised bad guys right now. I can see why you like her. Don't tell anyone I said that.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Even more updates

We went to the farm last weekend. Ma and Pa are good, all things considered. The cows are also still good albeit missing your expert touch. I gave milking another try; it never gets easier for us city-folk.

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Tomorrow, the WORLD!

They put up another statue of you at the Tower. You're more popular than Superman! I guess I really will have to give you more headlines.

--- --- ---

_From:_ Mail Delivery Subsystem mailer-daemon (at) googlemail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

Technical details of permanent failure:

PERMFAILURE: SMTP Error (state 9): 550 Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ It sure as heck won't be sweet potato

Do you know how long it took me to figure out who Tim is? If Bruce didn't already think I'm a "liability," he's really going to hate me now. Thank you for that; I love getting in his craw. Don't worry, I'll do my best to un-Brucify your friend. Maybe I'll take him to the farm for some pie.

--- --- ---

_From:_ Mail Delivery Subsystem mailer-daemon (at) googlemail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

Technical details of permanent failure:

PERMFAILURE: SMTP Error (state 9): 550 Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

* * *

"I still don't understand why you pierced your bellybutton," said Clark. "Did it hurt?"

Lois admired the little silver barbell. "Considerably less than I thought it would. I'm actually looking forward to buying jewellery for it."

"If you start wearing your hair in spikes, I'm going to call the men in white jackets."

Lois smiled and looped her arm through his.

* * *

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ The end is fucking nigh

Clark and I discussed having kids today. For once, I'm glad you aren't here to comment.

No, scratch that, I wish you were still around to freak out right along with the two of us. It's caught up with me now and I'm actually thinking of names. I like Ella and Elliot. Clark mentioned Jason or Lily. We'll be waiting for you to baby-sit.

--- --- ---

_From:_ Mail Delivery Subsystem mailer-daemon (at) googlemail (dot) com  
_To_: maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com

Technical details of permanent failure:

PERMFAILURE: SMTP Error (state 9): 550 Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

--- --- ---

_From:_ maddog (at) gmail (dot) com  
_To_: 2sexy4thisshirt (at) hotmail (dot) com  
_Subject:_ As long as we remember, blah blah cakes

You know what? I'm going to keep writing to you and to hell with the mailer daemon. Once upon a time, my fiancé died in my arms. There were funerals, memorials and cults just like now and you know what? He came back to me plus more. He came back and brought a wonderful kid in our lives. A kid that I've been proud of-- at first grudgingly-- since the first day I met him. I couldn't have wished for a better little brother.

Outside my window is a shape-shifting martian, a man dressed like a bat and a winged woman fighting an army of zombies. The impossible is made possible each day so I refuse to believe that you won't return one way or another. I'm going to keep writing so that when you return, you'll have something more substantial to return to besides a couple of statues.

Just don't take too long, okay, Junior?

Love,

Lois


End file.
